Radio Silence

All,

Thanks for reading this blog. Thanks for offering comments, emails, and encouragement.

As of the end of this week, I will be on active duty orders for an overseas mission to Kuwait. I'm not violating OPSEC; you can find out as much from the Army Times.

This is a non-combat mission. We'll be training and pulling guard duty for a year. Am I happy that my comrades won't be coming home killed or maimed? Yes, praise God for that. But as an infantryman and a Soldier, I can't help but feel like I don't have utility in a peacetime mission. I feel unnecessary. I feel like I'll be in football practice for a year with no chance to get in on the game. That's irrational, I know. But there it is.

I wouldn't be honest with you if I told you that I wanted to go at this point. My article in the Stars and Stripes Ruptured Duck Blog sums up how I feel about the situation and its uncertainty. Ever since we were cut loose in November, I used that time to find work and plan for my life. With this deployment, however, that's over. I'll be going overseas for a mission that I did not want or volunteer for, and I'll be returning to an even more difficult job market.

I'm not happy about this. But I am happy that I will be with Soldiers, and that I have good family and friends to support me while I'm away. I am also happy that, after the deployment, I'll be debt-free, with a bunch of money in the bank to give me some time to figure things out. 

This is an opportunity to be submissive to authority. God often tries and builds up his loved ones in the desert. I'm going to be entering an awfully big desert. I don't see why this is happening, but I accept it, and I accept my responsibility in bringing myself to this point. I'll walk with him wherever he takes me. Even if I don't want to go.

That being said, this blog is going to go dark for a while. I won't have access to a computer while training. I won't have time to write a blog post. If I end up going to Kuwait for the full year, I may reinstate the blog, as I should have some time to write. That will depend on CENTCOM's approval; I may not get that. If a condition of approval is an editing of previous content, I won't accept that. This blog is successful because it's honest; an unfiltered perspective. Not everyone agrees with how I see things, sure, but here it is, as I see it.

I've got a whole journal full of material to draw from, and I'm sure I'll do nothing but add to it at our mobilization station. If I can't write overseas, when I come home, I'll start writing again.

If I get published elsewhere, I'll post it here.
 

If you pray, ask my man Jesus to grant me the patience and wisdom to keep me from going crazy. Ask that I can do what needs to be done, to be patient, to rely on him, to be a light in stupid situations (and, oh, will there be stupid situations), and to honor my Soldiers, peers, leaders, nation, and God in both word and deed.

"He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
   And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
   and to walk humbly with your God." 

Micah 6:8

-Jonathan